for better for worse

I don't want to be defined as Lisa long-legs anymore! I am sooo much more and just because I have long legs doesn't mean I can run faster, better or further. I'm tired and this post is one after a long hiatus and it doesn't even have anything to do with craft or children. I need to express some things, I am sick of trying to be that perfect person. I need to learn how to be happy right now with this moment. I am messy, I would rather be reading than cleaning but head says clean. I am spontaneous, I would rather bounce on the trampoline at 6pm than cook, but head says cook. I can be sad, I can wallow in music and nostalgia around 4pm, head says snap out of it you are alive and healthy. I have too much coffee and too many red-rock chips, be healthy. I love my children,we play alot but you know I don't always want to play with them, head says play they grow up too fast.
I am a good friend to many people, but sometimes I just want to rent a cottage on the ocean and be alone.... for days, head says ring your friends and be sociable. I try to keep fit, I want to look good, fabulous at 40 and all that, but some days I just want to curl up with a good book and drink hot chocolate, head says keep fit people with admire you and you will live longer.
I try to draw, to sew clothes, to knit and design and I try to do it in the purest way possible but many days I feel uninspired and really Im not that good head says be creative thats your outlet.
Ive taken the organic pledge, but it is overpriced and abit of a wank! head- organic is better for you, save the planet and all that. I am married and the obedient servent but what I really want is to experience that first kiss again, head says for better for worse.
For anyone who is still reading this you can see I am a little frustrated right now and torn between my heart and head. I know what is right but how I want to follow my heart.
I don't want to be the perfect child anymore
I am me as I am warts and all
Lisa